I have great respect for people that can turn mole hills into mountains. It must take some gusto and unbelievable ego to turn something with an average height of about 18cm to a jagged angry mass of rock jutting out of the ground.
I don’t like mountains. They scare me. I have an irrational fear that they’ll somehow move from the designated area they’ve settled in over millions and millions of years and topple over, crushing me into female humanoid fragments of my former glory. It doesn’t make sense I know, that’s why they refer to it as ‘irrational’. Quite funny when you think about it long enough, I’m a very rational person. Rational to the point that I find I can detach myself from almost anything with the right argument. Even if it was something really important to me, like global warming.
Global Warming: Is it a conspiracy? I’m beginning to think that it is. A year ago I would have bitten anyone who even mentioned it, spreading my venom like words until my poor opposed has no option but to let me win. I’m very good at that; not listening to people. It keeps me sane. In my head the world makes sense. I can’t explain it, I can’t elaborate… If I tell you what I think, you’ll think like me. The only problem with thinking like me is that I won’t be me anymore, I’ll be part of a group of people that think like me and if I think like people that think like me, would my thoughts be mine or theirs?
I wanted to take over the world a while ago. I thought it was my ultimate mission in life. I’ve let go of this dream. I don’t want the world anymore, I don’t want to fix other peoples mistakes like a janitor (not a hot french maid because we all know that they don’t do any actual cleaning up) and I’m not janitor material. If I had my own world: I’d have fields of strawberries for lovers to run through. It would be so much better than daisies because there won’t be any bees to sting people and no pollen to give people allergies, you could just run through and pick a strawberry if you get hungry. Some people have said that daisies are more romanic, even going as far to say that I’m not romantic enough. Bullshit. I am romantic… I’m just more a realistic sort of romantic person. Sure, I get the whole ‘doing the impossible for the love of another’ thing, but the story has to make sense. I’m all for parting seas and moving mountains… if it was realistic, like moving a mountain through means of some heavy machinery.
Getting back to mountains though, if a mountain does decide to topple over me, could I still call it a mountain? The official definition for bits of mountain breaking away and falling off is ‘rock slide’. Which leads me to my next question- what came first; the rock or the mountain? If I’m correct in my assumption, as I usually am, a mountain is just a really huge rock. So if a rock is a rock is a mountain until is breaks off and becomes a rock again, does that mean that an egg and a chicken are one in the same? Yes, it does. I don’t know why people have been arguing over the chicken-egg debacle for centuries, they’re one in the same. Without a chicken, one cannot have an egg and vice versa.
I think the reason that people ponder over trivial things like this is because they can’t associate themselves with it on a personal level. How can Mr Joe Average fully understand the intricacies of life as a feathered clucking marvel of bird? He wouldn’t fully understand unless it was personified. Regarding the chicken and the egg: its the same as abortion isn’t it? If an egg is just an egg and not a chicken, then an embryo is just an embryo and not a potential person. Right? No. See, its not so easy when you make things personal.
Humans have huge egos. We think that because we know a lot about a lot we should be able to prevent things from happening or explain things in vague ways even though the correct explanation is usually the most shortest and most rational one. We try to be profound for no reason and trying to be profound is not profound at all. I think that I might be profound to someone someday… maybe someday I’ll inspire people. Maybe that’s my ego talking. I can’t be sure about this, I blind myself with my own awesomeness sometimes.
Look what thinking about nothing gets you…